Laemony Fresh

2003-07-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

Booked a plane ticket yesterday. Came home from the travel agent, turned on the news, and the big story of the day was about an incident where a Qantas jet's brakes caught fire and the passengers had to be evactuated with those inflatable slide things they have. Alright, pretty weird coincidence, but nothing out of the ordinary. These things happen, right?

Turn the news on tonight. There's been another incident involving a Qantas jet and its brakes catching on fire.

Guess which airline I'm flying with?

If you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go hide under my bed.

2003-05-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

I like Janeane Garofalo. I really like Janeane Garofalo in tight pants and eyeliner, a la Mystery Men.

That is all.

2003-05-04T04:50:00.000-07:00

Quick note about the last post: Just to make things perfectly clear, I do not, repeat, do not find Elijah Woods attractive. However, I freely admit he makes a cute hobbit. Just like I admit Orlando Bloom is a pretty, pretty man, and he makes a pretty, pretty elf (arguably even prettier than Liv Tyler, which is no small feat). However, neither of them does anything for me. In fact, the only member of the LotR cast I found attractive was Sean Astin, aka Sam.

Oh, and Schmeagal/Gollum.

What?

Oh come on, his fish song was adorable!

2003-05-03T11:02:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching Lord of The Rings: TTT and got bored. The result? A bunch of crappy haikus! Hurrah! *note: yes, I am a slasher. Your point being?

Frodo, eyes so wide
In charge of their destiny
He's kinda cute, too

'Your Sam' hobbit said
What he really meant to say:
'Just kiss me, dammit'

Formerly was Grey
Somewhere came across some bleach
Now lemony fresh

Rugged Aragon
Just give the man a razor
A bath would help, too

Pretty Legolas
Poncy nancing little elf
So screwing the Dwarf

Gimli- short and stout
So where is his handle then?
Elf has got his 'spout'

Gollum? Or Schmeagal?
Rose by any other name
Still smells like dead fish

Last and also least
Poor old Boromir- shot dead
Before the sequel

2003-03-21T09:03:00.000-08:00

*looks shocked* I have a blog?

Wow, it's been so long since I wrote anything in here. Well, let's see... Anything interesting happened lately? Um.. no. Any big news or exciting development? Nope. Anything go wrong, or something upsetting happen that I can rant about? No. What about a post outlining my personal opinions of recent political events? Nah, been done. How about amusing anecdotes, or an observation that nobody will find funny but myself? Nup, fresh out.

...

Suddenly I remember why I stopped posting on this thing

2002-07-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I have a sudden craving for peppermint, and nothing around to sate it with.

We have peppermint essence, but somehow I don't think that's the same..

2002-07-15T09:37:00.000-07:00

Warning: Mildly cute story coming up.

My little brother lost his second tooth today. The 'tooth fairy' went to swap it for a dollar, only to find that, rather than placing the tooth in a simple glass, he'd put it in a coffee mug. Bonus points for it being my father's "Old and irresponsible" mug, too.

2002-07-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

Just jokingly offered my cat a cracked pepper cracker. Not only did she take it, she ate the whole thing and came back for more.

It's a shame I'm not a heartless bastard, it'd be interesting to see just what she'll eat.

2002-07-08T09:40:00.000-07:00

Pet peeve #... I lost count: People laughing at things you didn't mean as a joke. Not only do you have to smile and act like you meant to be funny and interesting the whole time, it also leaves you worrying about exactly what made them laugh in the first place. Call me paranoid, but the way I figure it, they're laughing for one of two reasons. Either they think you were trying to make a joke, in which case you feel bad for not being witty enough to actually make said joke, or they're laughing at you for making such a lame joke, which is, obviously, not good.

Ok ok, so I'm paranoid. I still don't have to like it, though.

2002-07-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

Oh, geez. Steve "Crocodile Hunter" Irwin has made a movie. 90-120 minutes of watching him risk his life in foolish yet crowd pleasing ways. As if he wasn't enough, this time he actually dragged his FAMILY in as well. I'm sorry, but the guy is a doofus. It's the only word I can think of to describe him. I just don't get the appeal...

I suppose it might be worth seeing it, just to pretend that he's doing all his own stunts, and it's actually HIM getting hurt, instead of his stunt double. Although, maybe not in the cinema. I don't think the other patrons would appreciate me calling out, "Look! Steve ran into a tree branch! Yay!", in the middle of the movie... People are funny like that.

2002-06-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

Had a rather... interesting conversation with my mother tonight. She told me that she always has a cup of coffee before bed, claiming it helps her sleep. Which is weird on it's own, except she also believes it helps wake her up in the morning.

And here I was thinking she was the normal member of our family.

2002-06-21T01:06:00.000-07:00

Both of my parents have this bad habit of trying to hold conversations with me while I'm wearing headphones. A prime example is my mother and her crosswords.

My mom: "What's the name of the actor in Groundhog Day? Abby? Abby? Who was the one in Groundhog Day? Abby? Abby? Aaaaabby..."
It's around this time I notice she's looking at me and pull off my headphones.
Me: "Huh?"
"What was the name of the actor in Groundhog Day?"
"Bill Murray."
"No, not him, the woman."
"Oh, uh... Andy Mcdowell?"
"Ta."
Silence
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Is that all you wanted?"
"Oh yes, thanks."
Headphones go back on. 5 minutes later...
"Aaaaaabby..."

2002-06-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

Just a little example of why my father and I don't get along.

My Dad: "We have a bit of a problem. I need to take your grandmother up to Fremantle Hospital (Note: This is about an hour's drive away) for 4 o'clock, which is when you start work. I can either drop you off at 3 and you hang around for an hour, or I can see if Kim from next door can run you."
Me, mildly sarcastically: "Well gee, such great choices, lemme think about it."
Dad, getting defensive: "Well, it's not my fault, I can't do anything about it."
Me, getting equally defensive: "I never said it was your fault, I'm just saying it's not exactly ideal."
Dad, now down-right yelling: "Well fine! Just forget about the whole thing, you can find your own bloody way to work *slams door on the way out*."

I think we could win an award for quickest over-reactions, don't you?

2002-06-16T12:39:00.000-07:00

Update on the secret admirer issue. It'd appear that, whoever this person is, they're almost my perfect match. We have the same coloured hair, same idea of the perfect romantic getaway, same interest, same coloured eyes, same sense of humor, same type of pet, same job, same education, we'd do the same thing if we won the lotto, and they are aged between 16 and 20. Only thing different is our idea of the perfect first date. I picked picnic in a park, they chose walk in a park. I'm starting to think I have a stalker..... Cool!

Either that, or the whole SomeoneLikesYou.com thing is an advertising scam... nah, that can't be it.

2002-06-16T12:25:00.000-07:00

Wow! According to this e-mail I just recieved from SomeoneLikesYou.com, I have a secret admirer! That's amazing, especially since none of my friends/acquaintances know I have this e-mail address. My guess is someone was entering random e-mail addresses in an attempt to get more clues about their own admirer.. um, not that I've ever done that myself, you understand. Eheh... The thing that gets me, though, is how someone managed to put in the address 'laemonyfresh@hotmail.com' by accident. I've always prided myself on having a reasonably original address. Oh well... guess I'll log in and have a look. I think goth@hotmail.com is about to discover they have a secret admirer...

2002-06-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Ack, stupid misleading webaddresses. Atlas.com is one big advertising site for hotels, resorts, tour companies and the like. Not helpful when you're looking for maps.

"Where's Slovenia?"
"Beats us, but check out the cool places you can stay at when you get there!"

2002-06-12T05:50:00.000-07:00

Note to self: Tim Tams with tea? Not as tasty as Tim Tams with coffee.

2002-06-11T08:13:00.000-07:00

I hate being sick. Kinda goes without saying, nobody likes being ill. And if someone does, I wanna know who they are.

2002-06-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

My brother's girlfriend invited me out for a day of girlish bonding this morning (and no, not that kind, for anyone with a sick mind). Kinda sweet, in a you're-a-nice-girl-and-you're-good-for-my-brother-but-since-when-do-we-bond? kind of way. I'm not really very good at this sister/sister-in-law thing. I'm used to my older brothers beating me up, and my younger brother annoying me. Ok ok, so my little brother is almost able to beat me up, too. We do get along (mostly), but our bonding tends to take the form of teasing, rather than excursions. Maybe it's different with in-laws (or close enough to. In-laws to-be.)

Anyway, I turned her invitation down. Besides a distinct lack of enthusiasm for familial bonding, I wasn't really able to go. My week-long sore throat has rendered my voice virtually incompatible with the human ear. Being unable to talk makes heart-to-hearts over lattes somewhat difficult. Basically, I sound like a weird Britney Spears/Curly from the three Stooges hybrid. Weird hair, funny voice and a propensity for slapping people... I am the three Stooges.

2002-06-04T23:18:00.000-07:00

I have come to the decision that my hair is a crusader against conformity and the anti-individualism of the fashion industry. I went to have my hair cut today. After wearing it long for the past 6 months, I was well and truly sick of it, and just wanted it all hacked off. So the hairdresser cut it to about ear length at the front, with the back shorter. Very fashionable. Although I wasn't exactly happy about having 'in' hair, it looked ok, which was what I was most worried about. By the time I'd gotten back to the car though, my hair had already started to rebel. By the time I got home it looked like someone had attacked my head with a chainsaw. Obviously this was my hair's way of rebelling against the uniformity of fashion. Either that, or I need to buy more hair gel. Sigh. Serves me right for trying something new.

2002-05-31T06:20:00.000-07:00

Today I decided to clean out the relatively large fish tank in our living room (if anyone's looking for a nice, easy, clean pet... don't get a goldfish). As I was pouring the second bucket of water back in, my little brother has strolled over, watched me for a little while, then announced, "I want a drink of milk." Pause. Then, "Oh, you can finish that first."

There is not enough sarcasm in the world to describe how I responded to that.

2002-05-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

My father bought a different brand of tea today (yes, I drink tea. My mother's British, it's virtually hereditary), and I opened the box to find.... instructions. I swear, they included one whole page of brewing instructions! It's tea. A slightly-above-average-intelligence chimp could put hot water in a cup, but for some reason the lovely folks at Dilmah seem to think we need help.

I just realised how sad my life is. I'm talking about tea.

2002-05-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

Watched a Kasey Chambers special today. Apparently her latest hit, "Am I Not Pretty Enough", was not written as a love song, but was actually written as a kind of backlash against radio stations and the like not playing her music, instead favouring **extreme sarcasm** artists **extreme sarcasm** like Britney Spears. I've been a fan of Kasey Chambers since I heard her sing "The Captain" on the now deceased Good News Week, but suddenly my respect for her has grown ten-fold. Not only has a female country singer finally made it into the top ten, but she did it with a song that questions the music industry's priorities. Now there's irony for you.

Plus, it's refreshing to hear a song that that isn't about love, sex, drugs or any of the other themes that characterize most songs these days. Not that there's anything wrong with them, but they get a little tedious after the 50th factory produced pop group sings about the same things the last 49 did. Or, after hearing the latest rock group scream about anger, death, pain and drugs in an attempt to shock parents and draw in the rebellious teenage crowd. It's just not original any more, especially since there's often very little redeeming value in the music itself. It's all a bunch of factory produced nonsense that is written simply because it'll sell well.

Pet peeve #9: An industry that puts together a group of good looking 20-somethings and gives them formulaic songs to sing while smouldering at the fans. It's not music, no matter how you dress it up. It's sex appeal with a catchy beat.

2002-05-16T05:47:00.000-07:00

Stupid Pour 'n' Chill ads. I've now got a major craving for cheesecake. *Complain grumble whine moan*

2002-05-08T00:14:00.000-07:00

Right, my father has been possessed. I was sitting here, minding my own business, when out of nowhere he asked me if I was alright, and said I looked upset. After I told him I was just tired, he then proceeded to stare at my head. Then, THEN, he told me that my hair was looking nice, the colour really suited me (I dyed it a few days ago). All this from the guy who normally wouldn't notice if you were curled up into a ball in the corner sobbing (I'm only slightly exaggerating here). He's not usually the type to notice if you're upset. Don't get me wrong, he isn't a bad sort (most of the time, anyway), just pretty oblivious when it comes to others. Him and I almost never get along, but that's as much my fault as his. But still, the point remains he's not the sort to notice when someone's feeling down, let alone comment on it. Perhaps he noticed my choice in music today (I've been listening to some of my heavier rock songs, and my headphones are fairly loud). Or maybe I was pouting at my game of solitaire without realising it. Either way, I'm keeping an eye out for any pods.

2002-05-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

Word of the day: Zizzed.
Example: "The rheostat's round ivory-coloured knob turned black, blew off the wall, and zizzed across the room like a miniature flying saucer."

Not entirely sure it is a real word, but since Steven King used it, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt. (Bonus points for anyone who knows what story that's from.)

2002-05-06T22:36:00.000-07:00

Just went back and re-read what I typed up last night. Damn, I can whine at times. Let me just clear some things up.

1. I'm generally a happy person. Yeah, life sucks, we all know it, but I generally manage to deal with the crap on my own. As I've said before, I'm not a naturally demonstrative person, so I don't really mind not having anyone to talk to about my problems, meager though they might be. Even if I did, I probably wouldn't talk to them anyway. However, it would be nice for someone to notice when I'm feeling less than perky, and leave me alone rather than complaining to me about their own lives. Sometimes I just want to tell them that I have my own problems, thankyou very much, I don't need to hear about yours, especially since you couldn't care less about mine. Which leads me to my next point:

2. My friends, and the b*tchiness thereof. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, though I would never tell them as much. I like helping them any way I can. If they have a problem, or need to get something off their chests I don't mind listening and offering advice. I've even been told I'm pretty good at it. But what I don't like is being whined at every time I talk to them. I don't like being drawn into the middle of their arguments, and expected to offer sympathies when they often brought the problems on themselves. I don't like being asked to choose sides in fights between my friends, especially when I can see both points of view. I don't like melodramatic hypercondriacs who exaggerate their problems and blow them right out of proportion in order to get attention. And I especially hate people who are so wrapped up in themselves that they couldn't care less about anyone else.

So perhaps I should put it this way: I like helping friends with genuine problems. I like cheering people up when they're upset. However, is it too much to expect for my friends to recognize when I'm not feeling so great myself, and to give me a break? I don't need cheering up, I don't need a shoulder to cry on, all I want is to be left in peace without people bugging me. Sure, it's kind of selfish, but I really don't want to listen to other people's problems right now. If they had a serious problem, I wouldn't mind so much, but a lot of the time it's not. It's about who said what to whom, and what someone did to someone else. So someone spread rumors about you... grow up. Anyone with any sense will ignore them, and anyone who doesn't you probably don't want as your friend, anyway. As for the person spreading the rumors... well, maybe you shouldn't have called them *insert bad name here* if you didn't want them to retaliate. You have a crush on someone who isn't interested? Welcome to the club! Would you like a membership card or something? So you fight with your parents... you're a teenager. Most of them do. Grr, some people...

Well, that was supposed to be an apology for whining so much in the last post, but all I've ended up doing is complaining more. Damn, I guess I really am going through a second pre-adolescence. It'd explain why I've been listening to old Savage Garden songs...

2002-05-06T09:00:00.000-07:00

Let's see... My grandmother is extremely sick, my parents are constantly bickering and my mum is close to leaving my dad (which is weird- I'm caught between feeling upset at the prospect, almost happy about it, and guilty over feeling happy), my older brother recently left home so I'm the only kid left at home over the age of 7 to deal with the fights, my folks are having major money problems and my mum is worrying herself sick over it, I've been too sick to eat for the past 3 days, and I'm not sleeping well, a friend of mine attempted to commit suicide, two of my three closest friends live on the other side of the country, I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing with my life and no-one to talk to since everyone around me is busy with their own lives, I've got a crush on the single worst person I could possibly get one on, and I never bother sharing my problems with others, because I know how pointless it is, since no-one ever listens and is too wrapped up in their own problems. The same cannot be said for my friends, who always seem to want to burden me with their hassles. Like Jade, who just whined to me for half an hour about how crappy her life is because she likes a gay guy and she doesn't get along with her mother.

Sometimes I hate being named after an agony aunt.

2002-05-03T03:52:00.000-07:00

Some interesting stats for you (I'm not sure how correct they are, but then again, you could say the same thing about most statistics). Supposedly 1 in 10 men are gay, and over half of the world population are bisexual to some degree. This means that only about 35-40% of all men are completely straight (assuming, of course, that half of all bi people are male). Looks like that pesky overpopulation might not be such a problem in future.

2002-05-03T00:15:00.000-07:00

I wonder if actors on children shows ever read their lines and just crack up at the absurdity of them. For example: "Come on gang, let's sing about mowing!". He sounded completely sincere when he said it, too.

2002-04-30T06:55:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people act uncharacteristically nice to me. It makes me nervous... Ok, paranoid. But still, if one of your (female) friends called you wonderful for no apparent reason, it would make you suspicious, right? It's not the sort of thing you bring up in normal conversation... "Just so you know, I think you're wonderful. Hey, did you see Angel last week? Poor Lorne!" (Yes, this is ACTUALLY what she said.)

Then again, maybe I'm releasing pheromones or something and I just don't know it. After the guy on Sunday, a (male) friend flirting with me earlier tonight, and a third guy asking me out (believe it or not, he's the first guy to ever ask me on a date.... whee!), I'm starting to feel like a cat in heat or something. A strange sensation, yet not entirely unpleasant...

2002-04-28T08:44:00.000-07:00

When a TV show wins an award (yeah, I'm watching the Logies, how'd you know?), how do they decide who gets to keep the trophy? I can't get this image out of my head of the cast of "The Secret Life Of Us" huddled in the carpark playing match after match of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

"Damn! Come on, best out of 43!"

2002-04-28T03:54:00.000-07:00

I had a guy tell me I had a lovely accent today. Now, normally this would piss me off ("I don't have an accent! I am second generation Australian! No, I will not say 'barn' for you!"), but when a cute guy smiles at me and says it... well, let's just say I didn't mind so much. Yes, I have discovered that I am capable of being reduced to a giggling, blushing, stuttering mess by a boy. It only took me 18 years to discover this. I hope I'm not experiencing some kind of second pre-adolescence. I might have to ask Marie to promise to kill me if I start listening to Backstreet Boys. Hmm... Just in case, I'm going to go listen to some loud, non-mainstream punk rock music. Just as a precautionary measure, you understand.

2002-04-19T09:55:00.000-07:00

Ever feel like a screw up because you're 18 and still living at home?

I don't. Well, yeah, ok, sometimes I do, but I know finding any old job and moving out just because I can will probably screw up my life even more.

My best friend doesn't feel the same way, apparently.

She got an e-mail from one of her oldest and closest friends in America tonight. This should be a good thing, right? Right. Pity the e-mail was all about her "friend"'s life, how she's just gotten married (yes, married, at 18. Am I the only one who thinks this is stupid?), how she's moved into a lovely apartment, how her work in the army is going, blah blah blah. Sure, ok, good for her. Unfortunately, my best friend (who I'm going to call Marie from now on. That's not her real name, but I talk about her enough, she needs to be known as something), although happy for her "friend", feels like a screw up now because, while her "friend" is busy traipsing around America, protecting her country and acting all domestic and married-bliss-like, Marie is still living at home and working part-time. Since I'm doing the same thing, I see the sense in this. Neither of us know what sort of career we want, so we're taking time to think about it before looking at TAFE, Uni or work, rather than doing any old thing.

Marie is strong, mature, smart, a hell of a lot more sensible than many adults I know, and even if she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life right now, she'll get there in the end. She's just that sort of person. But all she can see is her "friend" (who shall henceforth be known as "Julie", or alternatively She-beast) organising her life, getting a job, doing all those things that you're supposed to do when you 'grow up'. So, of course, since Marie isn't doing any of those things she thinks she must be, as she put it, a f*ckup. She can't see that she's just as good as Julie, just as mature, just as grown up, just as reliable, just as responsible, just as competent. All she can see is that she doesn't know where she's going in life, she doesn't have a career plan, she doesn't date, she's incredibly shy around strangers, she's still living at home, therefore she believes she's worthless. She just can't see all the good things about herself, and it doesn't help that whenever Julie, who's supposed to be Marie's oldest and dearest friend, BOTHERS to send an e-mail or call, which is rarely, Marie just ends up feeling bad about herself. And Julie, the moron, has no idea how self-deprecating Marie ends up feeling afterwards! What sort of friend doesn't notice something like that?

And maybe I'm a little biased when it comes to Marie, but she is honestly one of the smartest, maturest, sweetest, most sensible people I know, and that includes adults. She has no reason to feel like a failure. I only wish she could have more confidence in herself. Well, ok, I wish for that, world peace, and for Julie to be hit in the face with a frozen trout should she ever hurt Marie again, either deliberately or inadvertently.

Overly protective? Nah.

2002-04-16T03:49:00.000-07:00

Today is quickly turning into a Very Good Day. Got a wonderful surprise present from my best friend (a red rubber duck with devil horns, affectionately nick-named Joe. Now I have to start thinking of a way to surprise her back... it's one of those little things we do), finally saw a movie I've been dying to see for months now, and it was every bit as wonderful as it was supposed to be, and now to top it all off it's raining. I love the rain, and it's especially nice after how hot and muggy it was yesterday.

Yep. Definitely a Very Good Day.

2002-04-15T01:35:00.000-07:00

Thought of the day: Who is Wendy supposed to be in Bob The Builder? First time I saw her I assumed she was Bob's wife or girlfriend, but there doesn't seem to be any romantic relationship between them. Then I thought she was a secretary or something, since she stayed in the office and answered phones for him. But lately she's been going out and helping on the job, too. Plus, I'm pretty sure Bob's office is actually his house, so does she live there, too? Maybe she just hangs around to, *ahem* 'grout Bob's tiles', and occasionally help out in other ways. Why not? It wouldn't be the most twisted relationship ever in a kid's cartoon. After all, I'm sure Noddy and Big Ears had something going on. Even Constable Plod enjoyed ringing Noddy's bell.

Hey, I have a six year old brother. I'm allowed to ponder this sort of thing. It's all I have left to keep me sane after watching Pokèmon for the 253rd time.

2002-04-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have ever wanted to live in the United States more than I do right now.

2002-04-13T22:35:00.000-07:00

Hmm, interesting pair of shoes came through my checkout yesterday. Rainbow-coloured box, checkerboard pattern, all bright and perky, with 'Rugged Outdoor Explorer' written on the box. Mhm. Right. They were sneakers with glitter on them, for crying out loud. Nothing rugged about them, let alone the outdoors explorer part. I can't see someone like, for example, Steve Irwin tramping through the great outdoors in a pair of glitter-covered women's shoes. Oh wait... now I can.

Speaking of wacky and/or amusing products, I saw these kid's medicinal lolly-pop things in the chemist. The little boy on the Pain and Fever box was looking happy, smiling at the camera and looking all pain-and-fever-free. The little girl on the Allergies box was sniffing some flowers and smiling happily, obviously not blocked up or teary-eyed. The two kids on the Sore Throat box were hugging each other and looking, surprise surprise, happy and healthy. But the poor little boy on the Cold box looked down-right miserable, thermometer in his mouth, hand on his forehead, looking like someone just shot his pet turtle. The only two explainations I can find for this is that either:
1. The Cold lolly-pops are not as effective as the other ones, or
2. The parents of the children on the other boxes are just paranoid.
Mother: "Susie, what are you doing?? Get away from those flowers!"
Susie: "But Mommy, they smell nice..."
Mother: "But you have allergies! You're going to get sick!"
Susie: "I feel fine, really."
Mother: "You're obviously sick! You need medicine."
Susie: "But..."
Mother: "Here, have one of these special lolly-pops."
Susie: "...you know, I DO feel a little snuffly..."

2002-04-11T05:50:00.000-07:00

My dad, in response to the trivia question "Who wrote and sang "We Don't Start The Fire"?": "Winston Churchill."

2002-04-09T01:54:00.000-07:00

One of our dogs just ate a magnet. I'm sure there's a a joke in there somewhere.

2002-04-07T00:01:00.000-08:00

Typo of the day: "Brb, I'm going to go eat donner."

Aren't reindeer a protected species?

2002-04-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

I have just been informed that anywhere that doesn't have Starbucks coffee is the outback. Well, gee, I guess I owe all those randoms an apology.

2002-04-01T23:27:00.000-08:00

That stupid '7 deadly sins' range of icecreams really tick me off. I don't know who at Magnum came up with the idea, but they could at least have done their homework first. "Revenge" is not a deadly sin, it's "Anger". And I don't care what people say, they are not the same thing. Revenge can be a consequence of anger, sure, but they are nowhere near the same thing. Ok, so it's a stupid thing to get annoyed about, but I'm nothing if not pedantic.

Speaking of advertising, am I the only one who's amused (and ok, a little disturbed) by the saying on the lid of Fanta bottles? "Open a bottle of fun!". I am? Thought so...

2002-04-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

What do you call 10 men standing on a block of land? A vacant lot.

Ehehehe.. haha.. ha.. heh... *ducks*

2002-03-30T08:42:00.000-08:00

Sigh. Spent the day helping out at my little brother's 6th birthday party. 15 little kids in a small area, all screaming at once.

I am never having children.

2002-03-28T07:06:00.000-08:00

Ugh... Thursday night is the worst shift. Yes yes, I've complained about this before, but this is my venting page and dammit, I want to vent!

Started a half hour earlier tonight than I usually do, which meant I got off a half hour before the shop closed. Which would have been great, would have given me a chance to do some shopping of my own if the manager had realised I finished at 8:30 and let me go! Sigh. Oh well, not like it's the first time that's happened. Besides, I get paid for that extra 15 minutes. A whole $2.50, whee.

The worst thing about tonight was that I had had a headache before I started. Between the usual Thusday night hub-bub, the last minute Easter shoppers, and the evil money-tube-sucky things being on the blitz (they kept beeping loudly every 2 seconds. All night), I was ready to hang myself from those damn fluorescent lights.

Ah well, tonight wasn't a total waste. There was one incident that made me smile. Two little kids, about 7 or 8 years old, came through with some Easter stuff they were going to buy for their parents with their pocket money. They were on their own, wanting it to be a surprise 'n all. Been saving up for weeks. Got the total, and the kids were 20 cents short. You should have seen their faces. They looked positively heart-broken until the lady behind them handed over the extra 20 cents. It was such a small thing, but it meant everything to the kids. Like the lady said, "It is Easter, after all.". Such a small gesture, but the children looked like it was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for them.

Yes Virginia, there is an Easter Bunny.

2002-03-27T00:57:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: Where the hell did the saying 'badgering someone' come from? Are badgers particularily persistent animals? They don't seem to be, nor do they seem to be especially argumentative. I mean, I can kind of see 'dogging' someone. No-one guilt trips like a dog. Even a goldfish could stare you down until you caved in. Well, ok, our dogs are probably not very good examples when it comes to determination. They have the attention spans of not especially bright newts. They're likely to get distracted half-way through an interrogation by something shiny. But I digress...

2002-03-25T22:27:00.000-08:00

Mmm, just had a delightfully hysterical phone call from my best friend, who was at work (she's a nanny). The fact that we can both be reduced to tears from laughing so hard after just a 5 minute phone call is a testament to our friendship. And quite likely our insanity.

2002-03-25T18:37:00.000-08:00

Note to self: Sneezing while holding a razor- Bad Idea.

Today's the last time I try shaving my legs with a summer cold. I sneezed and almost took my foot off. I'm just glad I'm not a guy. How do they manage to shave without slitting their own throats? Death by shaving... not exactly glamourous, is it?

In other news, I broke my bracelette last night. The bracelette that I've worn every day for the past three years. I feel naked...

2002-03-23T09:41:00.000-08:00

Salesgirls just need to feel loved.

Some people can be so nasty at times. There's something about shopping centres that brings out the worst in people, especially when they're dealing with sales staff. True, salespeople get paid to be polite, but that's no reason to be snarky to them. We're only trying to do our job. Working the checkouts, we probably get the worst of it, from drunk shoppers (Thursday nights are the worst), to complaints about lack of floor staff (hey, that's not my problem, I just get paid to handle the cash), to long queues (here's a tip- Don't like queueing? Stay home. It's the only way you'll avoid them totally), to poorly stacked or labelled products (nightfillers are an entirely different breed). Not to mention the comments and mocking. Check-out chick is not exactly a career that earns respect, but someone has to do it. And if one more person calls me dear, sweetie, honey, baby, love, darling, babe, or kiddo, I will hurt them.

2002-03-23T09:27:00.000-08:00

Quote from one of my brothers, talking about Meatloaf: "Hey, he looks like that teacher I had in primary school. Now what was her name again..?"

I'm not sure which one should be more insulted.

2002-03-21T06:32:00.000-08:00

Stupid randoms.

Got messaged by a guy on ICQ. As soon as he heard I was from W.A., the first question out of his mouth/fingers was, "Oh, you live in the outback, huh?". Um... no. W.A. is a lot more than a big empty desert in the middle of nowhere. We have cities. We have towns. We have 'burbs. Perth may not compare to Sydney or New York or London or something, but it's still a city. It's bustling, it's a metropolis, what more do you want?

Outback Survivor should be banned.

2002-03-20T05:21:00.000-08:00

Washed the dogs today. Now that's an adventure and a half. Our younger dog is no problem. He tries to run off at every opportunity, but he loves having the shampoo rubbed in, and he just adores all the attention. Our OTHER dog, however... He HATES bath day. He growls the entire time, acts like the water is his worst enemy (which is strange since he loves to swim), and if you so much as look at his tail, he pulls this 'tough dog' act and fakes biting you. He never uses pressure, but the thought is there. I don't get it, most dogs would LOVE having their owners lavish love and attention on them, love being patted and stroked, but not Clint. He seems to take it as a personal insult. Oh, Clint's our dog, btw. Yeah, I know, Clint's a weird name for a dog, but my Dad thought he looked like a Clint. Don't see it, myself. Could be worse, our other dog is named Easty.

Guess what that's short for.

2002-03-19T08:55:00.000-08:00

Recent conversation with my parents
My mother: "You going to make your Dad a cup of coffee?"
Me: "No, Mom, you don't understand! He's an independant male! A big, tough brute, he's USED to taking care of himself. This is something he must do for himself, something he must overcome in order to become truly free. He's been coddled for too long, too long I tell you! We're standing in his way of total self-sufficiency. We need to take a step back, let him go. He needs to spread his wings, Mom, we're stifling him here. You wouldn't want to be the only thing standing between him and his new-found freedom, would you?"
*Blank stares*
Me: "*Sigh* Where's his cup?"

2002-03-19T06:44:00.000-08:00

Highlight of my life thus far: Getting to hear Fergie, Duchess of York say "Groovy". Ah, small things.

2002-03-19T05:36:00.000-08:00

Hey, it's Saint Patrick's day. Wish I'd realised earlier, I would have gone out and done a Fligel to celebrate.

2002-03-19T01:29:00.000-08:00

I really need to find a full time job. The casual position I have now was fine while I was at school, but now that I've graduated there's really no excuse for not looking for something a little more permanent. Now if only I could decide what I want to do with the rest of my life... For some reason a career as a 'check-out chick' doesn't really appeal to me.

2002-03-18T09:36:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: Do those people who pronounce herb as 'erb' call herbal tea 'erbal tea'?

2002-03-17T10:11:00.000-08:00

If I was a Mory character, I would be...

Which Mory's Education character are you? Find out here!

Niiiice... I got the two male characters who are commonly mistaken as being gay. Slash fans unite! Or would that be yaoi....?

Meanwhile, I now have yet ANOTHER web comic to add to my rapidly growing list, Mory's Education. Damn people with their attractive-looking artwork and amusing storylines...

2002-03-13T03:22:00.000-08:00

Thought of the day: When they hung Ned Kelly, did he die of suffocation or a broken neck?

Morbid? Perhaps, but I'm curious now.

2002-03-13T03:21:00.000-08:00

I went and had a bone density test done today. Now THAT'S cool. It's basically a x-ray, only it measures the level of calcium in your bones. The results get scanned into the computer and you get a nifty looking colour printout of your whole skeleton. Well worth the 6 minutes of having to lie still. They also did one of my spine and one of my hip, which is really uncomfortable. The way they arrange your legs, your knees are pulled together, your feet are spaced about 60cms apart and you're pidgeon-toed. Then you're expected to stay like that for 4 mintues while they do the scan. Cramp city.

Call me paranoid, but I'm not too sure I like the idea of all those x-rays floating around me, either. I don't even like standing too close to the microwave.

After seeing my skeleton spread out on the computer screen, I'm curious how many times a day the radiologist hears jokes about child bearing hips.

2002-03-10T21:25:00.000-08:00

Something else that's evil... buttermint Skittles. Ugh. Should you ever buy a bag of Mint Skittles, beware of the yellow ones. However, spearmint Skittles are very, very good. They taste a little funky with coffee, but in general they're very tasty.

2002-03-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

Kylie Minogue is the root of all evil. She could take over the world if she wanted to, just by releasing a disgustingly catchy single to drive everyone insane. Her songs are just so... damn... catchy. Does anyone else find it ironic that it's impossible to get "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" out of your head? Heck, I don't even LIKE her music and I've been humming it since 11 this morning. If I don't get it out soon I will personally hunt Kylie down and kill her myself. That said, if Kylie shows up murdered tonight, I will deny all knowledge of this blog.

Maybe some System Of A Down or Kasey Chambers will exorcise this demon...

2002-02-27T20:01:00.000-08:00

My family suck. Well, no, not really. No more than any other family, I suppose.

My grandmother is always telling me I should be neater. She even tried "What will your husband think if you keep your house like you keep your room?" on me today. I was so tempted to reply, "Gran, I'm a lesbian. If I ever get married, I think my husband is going to have more to worry about than a little bit of dust.". I'm not above lying to my grandmother for a good cause.

As I have already mentioned, I'm bi. I don't understand why both straight and gay people have such a problem with people claiming they're bisexual. You should try it some time.

I live in Australia. I can count the number of times I've seen a kangaroo on one hand.

Unfortunately, I also live in a relatively small town/suburb. This makes having a personality difficult. I'm not a whiny size 6 teeny bopper who dresses in tiny skirts and runs around giggling at boys. Therefore, I'm not cool. Life outside of highschool seems to be much like life in highschool, only... bigger.

I'm not one of those teenagers who whine about how crappy their lives are and how much they want to die. My life is good. Hey, my life is almost great. Now if only I could get the girl and teach my enemies a lesson in an amusing yet poignant way, movie-of-the-week style, things would be perfect.

Basic grammar, punctuation and spelling mistakes irritate me. Do some people even read what they're typing?

I don't use terms of endearment or give signs of affection easily. Or at all.

I need a life.

2002-02-27T05:34:00.000-08:00

Well hey, it worked. Now to get to the good stuff. Well, ok, the barely-above-average stuff...

First of all, about the title. It's NOT a typo, it really is supposed to be Laemony Fresh. Don't try to understand it, just go with it.

Ok, me. I suppose I should put a little about myself. My name's Abby, I'm 18, female and I live in Australia. That's the boring stuff. I tend to have a short attention span, and never, EVER let me drink coffee if you want to have a normal conversation with me. I hate ditzy people (pot calling kettle black, maybe?). I have three brothers, two older and one younger. I never wear skirts or dresses, my hair is always in a ponytail, and yet I'm not a tomboy. I am, however, very much in love with my best friend. My very female, very straight best friend. Oh yeah, glutton for punishment, that's me. I'm not a lesbian. I'd hesitate to even call myself bi. I like to think that I'm more attracted to the person inside rather than their chromosomes. Oh great, now I'm turning all Hallmark-y. Point is, I'm equally attracted to guys and girls. Indecisive much?

I'm bored with this now. I've mentioned my short attention span, right?

2002-02-27T04:02:00.000-08:00

Ok, just a quick blog to test this puppy out...

I've never felt the need to start one of these things before, but I suppose I can stand behind the 'but everyone else was doing it' defence. However, given that I'm technologically inept 'n all, you're gonna have to bear with me while I get the hang of this thing. Or not, as the case may be. Hey, no-one's MAKING you read this, y'know.

Before I go into any details about myself, let's see if this thing will publish. No point doing all that typing if Blogger is just going to eat it....